Saturday, February 15, 2014

No Bullies Allowed

Remember as a child that one one phrase you'd hear when getting too close to the boys' makeshift clubhouse? No Girls Allowed! Then you'd stop off with your arms folded and yell over your shoulder to the cooty-ridden stinky boys, who probably had toads in their pockets anyway, "No one wants to be in your stupid club. I'll start my own!"
Awww... Memory Lane. Those were the days. But, sadly those days remain in the past and there is a new phrase that NEEDS to be heard: No Bullies Allowed!
This is something that has effected many kids, and even adults. Bullies can make the person being bullied believe they are worthless, unloved, not wanted, ect... and this is something that needs to stop. It is something I am trying to help one of my own kids through as he comes home daily feeling defeated because of one bully who has made it his life's goal to ruin every ounce of happiness in my son.
What is this post going to do for him? Maybe nothing. Maybe a lot. But, maybe it is just me needing to vent. My heart is broken and the stress is rising, and since I am making this blog about all things, I think this is something that needs to be here.
So many kids don't tell an adult about what is going on because they are afraid. "You told your mom, now you're gonna pay!" the bully says as soon as he gets detention. To a ten year old, those words can scare you away from telling anyone anything. They don't know what "you're gonna pay" means, but they know it's bad. And, let's face it, whatever they are already going through is hard enough, you're gonna pay just means it's about to get harder.
While I can't teach that other kid manners, or any other bully, although I want to.... badly.... I can talk to my kids. My son knows he can come to me and we WILL work together to help him. And, while it might seem scary, or you might think it's not needed; if you even suspect your child is being bullied, talk to them. If you know your child is being bullied let them know you love them, let them know they are worthy, let them know they are smart, let them know that all the cruel words the bully uses to make them feel defeated are just that: words. And, that those words are not true. Most of all, talk to them and let them know that taking their lives is not an answer and make sure they know they can come to you without judgement at any time, day or night, and if they are feeling that upset, to let you know so you can help them. We talk to our kids about drugs, about guns, about how not to talk to strangers... I think it's time to talk to our kids about bullies, too. Also, as a mom of a kid who is being bullied, I beg of you, if you are a parent of a bully... let them know how their actions and words are hurting other kids. Not just making them cry, but really hurting them. Please, help stop it.
I guess what I am trying to convey, is talk to your kids. Always. Never stop talking to them. 

I am not a medical or psychological professional, only a mom who understands the need to make her child feel loved. 
And, anything said here is only an opinion. <--- have to tell you this to cover my butt.


  1. My son was recently being bullied as well. it's very hard for a parent to go through something like that. Thankfully, the moment I finally found out about it, I told his teacher, the principal got involved, and the situation was resolved within a matter of days (to the point that both my son and his previous bully were sent to the principal's office just days later because of "inappropriate pictures" my son drew to make his new friend laugh). I hope things get better for you and your son soon.

    1. Thanks, Erin. It's a tough part of being a parent. We want to protect them and make things better, and sometimes it is too late... I am glad I was able to start getting this handled before it got worse. I hope things get better soon for my son. I am soooo glad your son is better and he is not being bullied any more.